Relationship Manifesto

One morning, awhile back, as I was waking up, I was gently thinking about what learnings I have gleaned about life and relationships and what would I like to pass on to my grown children.  The "Relationship Manifesto" floated into my mind fully formed and clear and ready to write down.  Which I did.  And here it is:

Relationship Manisfesto

It is not your spouse's, partner's, date's job to:

Make you happy

Make you feel safe and secure

Stay with you forever and ever

Protect you from the world and its demands

Protect you from the demons of your past

Heal your emotional wounds

Protect you from pain and disappointment

"Be there for you"

Be your Best Friend

Make you feel lovable

Make up for all the inadequate loving you've experienced in your life

Give you the home and family you never had as a child

Make you feel good about yourself

Forgive you

It is YOUR job to:

Do your inner work

Face your inner demons

Heal your own pain

Be honest with yourself

Quit projecting your needs, desires, false beliefs, disappointments, fears, self-deceptions onto the other

Be your OWN best friend

Love yourself

Forgive yourself

Take responsibility for your OWN happiness/unhappiness

Remember why you chose this person in the first place and the goodness you feel when you experience love

You can TRUST that they will:




Make mistakes and some will be serious

Say things that hurt you

Do things that infuriate you

Let you down

Have their own desires and longings that contradict yours

Disagree with you

Be unable to fulfill your life -- Because THAT'S YOUR JOB!


To face your own demons

Let them face their own demons

Hold hands while you both are doing this