One morning, awhile back, as I was waking up, I was gently thinking about what learnings I have gleaned about life and relationships and what would I like to pass on to my grown children. The "Relationship Manifesto" floated into my mind fully formed and clear and ready to write down. Which I did. And here it is:
Relationship Manisfesto
It is not your spouse's, partner's, date's job to:
Make you happy
Make you feel safe and secure
Stay with you forever and ever
Protect you from the world and its demands
Protect you from the demons of your past
Heal your emotional wounds
Protect you from pain and disappointment
"Be there for you"
Be your Best Friend
Make you feel lovable
Make up for all the inadequate loving you've experienced in your life
Give you the home and family you never had as a child
Make you feel good about yourself
Forgive you
It is YOUR job to:
Do your inner work
Face your inner demons
Heal your own pain
Be honest with yourself
Quit projecting your needs, desires, false beliefs, disappointments, fears, self-deceptions onto the other
Be your OWN best friend
Love yourself
Forgive yourself
Take responsibility for your OWN happiness/unhappiness
Remember why you chose this person in the first place and the goodness you feel when you experience love
You can TRUST that they will:
Lie
Cheat
Fail
Make mistakes and some will be serious
Say things that hurt you
Do things that infuriate you
Let you down
Have their own desires and longings that contradict yours
Disagree with you
Be unable to fulfill your life -- Because THAT'S YOUR JOB!
It's POSSIBLE:
To face your own demons
Let them face their own demons
Hold hands while you both are doing this
REMEMBER HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO LOVE
